"Yeah, I'm looking at my boob. So what?"
I did up the little hook and eye closures, tugged the bejeesus out of the laces in back, and prepared to be awed by the effects of this long desired garment on my splendiferous self...
Is this supposed to look so painful?
It was like that, and I can assure you that it was even more uncomfortable than it looks (and it sure as hell looks plenty uncomfortable). Here I was with images of Super Sexy Squeaky cavorting through my head and what I got was something more like 180 pounds of Squeaky stuffed in a Casing not rated for that much awesome. Despondent, I tossed the damn thing in the back of my closet, never again to see the light of day.
I felt pretty bad. Nobody had told me that the reasons those Freddy's of Hollywood type corsets are only shown on thin models is because they're only fashion "corsets" and have all the structure of a lightly boned ballgown bodice (which is next to no structure). They're meant to be worn no tighter than a snug shirt- Which is why you never see a plump girl modeling them (as evinced by the above photos).
So! In order to save you from my disappointment, and because corsets are becoming so dang popular, I decided to put together a little How-To for buying your first real corset (or even just a better one if you already bought a disappointing cheapie).
First and foremost- When it comes to corsetry, you really do get what you pay for. Those 3 for $75 "deals" that sites like Corset Story run all the time won't get you a real corset no matter what the advertisements say. You can get decent starter corsets from them, but they're going to be somewhere in the $70-100+ range. Corsets are not garment that can be made cheaply and still function as a corset should.
Image courtesy of Orchard Corset
Take a second to compare this lady in blue to our unfortunate friend in black, above...
There's quite a bit of difference between the two pictures, right (and even though you can't see the front of the black corset, I assure you, it's no prettier than the back is)? I'll explain why that is:
Do you know how a snug shirt will want to ride up your hips and bunch around your waist? That's exactly what a corset would do if it wasn't boned. Boning is what supports the corset, it's like the corsets skeleton.
Cheap manufacturers use plastic or super low-grade flexible steel to bone their garments. This is Ok if you want to wear a corset-like garment no tighter than you'd wear a snug shirt and you're on the thinner side of the body-type spectrum, the cheap boning will keep the fabric from bunching. Any tighter than that, even if you're a smaller size, and that cheap boning will buckle and warp, exactly what happened to our friend in black.
The lady in blue? Her corset is boned with flat steel at the back along the grommets (which keeps it from looking all wavy) and in the front along the busk. Along the curved seams, like the bust, it's boned with this neat stuff called spiral steel- It's strong enough to flex with the garment and still provide support.
The tighter you want to wear your corset, the more important good, quality boning is to avoid the wrinkley-wavy look.
Who hasn't seen one of these on someone, somewhere?
Next up, the busk.
This is one of Corset Story's "steel boned" corsets (an OK corset but fair warning, they're not that curvy in real life). I liked the fabric and that the busk was visible.
The busk is the preferred style of closure for most corset enthusiasts. It's sturdy (in more expensive models, super cheap busks are a nightmare) and easy to open and close.
Really crappy fashion "corsets" close with hook-and-eye fasteners, the sort you find at the top of your zipper on a nice dress, or with cheap zippers. The white corset has hook-and-eye closure. Neither are effective closures for a corset that's going to be worn any thighter than the afore mentioned snug shirt.
Corsets that are a bit more expensive might use a busk, which is better. A busk adds structure to the front of a corset and acts as boning. But there's a problem- Cheap busks can warp, taking on this shape ( from the bust and stomach forcing the busk to conform to the wearer's body. A little warping is OK, a lot of warping can ruin the busk making it impossible to fasten and unfasten.
A good busk will remain flat, support the garment, and tame an unwanted tummy bulge (yay!). A good busk will not bend easily in your hands when you gently flex it (the same rule applies to boning: Good boning isn't very flexible). The better the busk used in the corset you wear, the better and longer the corset will be wearable.
I have this corset! Image from Orchard Corset.
The standard corset closes at the back (the back! Not the front!) with lacing. It's one of the most recognizable parts of corsetry, those crisscross laces.
Cheap and cheaper corsets use eyelets (made from one piece of metal in a flower shape that is pressed into place, causing the "petals" of the flower shape to curve around the fabric). By itself that's not so horrible, but they do have a tendency to tear out because the "petals" are sharp and can cut the surrounding fabric, and they can snag your laces. If the manufacturers are really cheap and lazy they might use eyelet tape, horrid stuff that's not at all suitable for corsets.
They grey and blue corsets use grommets (two pieces of metal that are pressed together, into each other- Not into the fabric itself like eyelets). Grommets are sturdier, less likely to separate from the fabric, and are much, much smoother. They won't snag your laces.
Next Up: How the cut of the corset affects the shape it gives you...
First, we've got one of those cheapie corsets that I've been ragging on:
"Do these pasties make my boobs look silly?"
It took me a while to find an image that wasn't photoshopped, a nasty trick some sellers use to think you're getting this awesome, curvy corset when in fact you're getting a fabric tube with about as many curves as a ruler.
Next we've got another lady in blue:
I wish I knew who to credit this to because they deserve it.
Holy curves, Batman!
I have no idea who is responsible for the cut of that corset, but man... That is one sexy garment.
The difference between the pink tube and Black & Blue lady? The pattern, or "cut" of the garment.
Cheapies look like tubes because tubes are easy to make.
A structural marvel like the blue corset takes skill and effort to create.
Now you don't have to invest a small fortune to buy a curvy corset, Orchard Corset's 426 line can do amazing things to a waistline and on sale they're right in the $80-90 range. Sometimes cheaper if you get lucky... But you're not going to get curves like that from fashion corsets or a bustier, they are not made with materials that will hold up under that much strain.
Finally (finally!), material.
If you've ever been into a fabric store you know that nice material isn't cheap. A heavy brocade or satin is going to run between $10 to $20 per yard, so it makes sense that a nice corset is going to reflect that cost in its price.
The cheapest corset I currently own (purchased for a one-time costume) set me back a whopping $35 dollars on ebay. To be honest, it's not a horrid corset, but you can tell it didn't cost much to make. The boning and busk were flimsy, the cut was more fabric tube than Holy Curves, but you could tell they skimped on the fabric- The "satin" crinkled like tissue paper and it wasn't even lined. It just had felt over the bones and a fusible interfacing... Super cheap.
Had I worn it more than once, or tried to lace it tight, I'm pretty sure the seams would have given out. The poor thing just wasn't built to be a real corset.
A real corset? It's going to have between 2 and three layers of fabric in its construction. A cotton liner (often something heavy like duck) and then another heavy material as the fashion layer (brocade, satin, cotton, velvet, ect). If the fashion layer is something fragile like silk or lace, this layer will be on top of a middle layer.
The only exception to this are mesh corsets which I know next-to-nothing about. I don't much care for the look of them so I haven't researched them.
And I think that's it, without going super buck nuts on information. If you'd like to learn more on your own two of the best corset resources are:
Lucy's Corsetry
She has loads of helpful blogs and videos. Lucy is seriously awesome.
The Long Island Staylace Association
Seriously the BEST site for anything to do with corsets on the web.
Also:
Orchard Corset
Two of the corsets in this article are from Orchard Corset and I own two myself. Their quality for the cost cannot be beat, they make the best, affordable off the rack corsets, and even more wonderful? They have curve levels to fit multiple body types! They're also super helpful if you have any questions and they have blogs and vieos to help with selecting a corset. I cannot rave about them enough. Go check them out.
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