Sometimes the DimDoms, whose failure at reading profiles (especially the about me, looking for, and relationship status bits) has bee well documented decide that it's a good idea to message me. I don't know why they'd think this, but sometimes it can be fun to see where their derpy conversation goes... This one, yeah. I don't know about this one.
..................................................................................................................................................................
My thoughts look like this.
Cookie was kind enough to let me use his profile to egg on the derpy DimDom.
hey babygirlie
babygirlie? WTF? This guy does realize I'm 11 years older than he is, right? He had to at least have checked that bit in my profile.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
what will it take for you to blow me?
Nothing You could ever hope to possess, twit.. But seeing as this could be good for some amusement I won't block you just yet.
Me
Well, I guess I'd have to have some interest in blowing you, which I don't, so...
Better luck elsewhere.
Oh look! I can be nice-ish, even to twits. What's he going to come back with?
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
What if i told you all about me and we got to know each other? im a nice man im just very lonely in the girl department, and i find you pretty, itd be nice for a fantasy to be a reality one time.
Seriously? Did he really just play the "But I'm A Pathetic Nice Guy" card? Man, saddest game EVAR. Does that even work? Has there ever been some chick who's just felt soooo bad for the derp that she says, "Oh, you poor derp. I feel bad for your lack of lady-getting skills and I will now grant you a pity beej"?
Me
Tell you what- Feel free to message my Dominant (he's on here BTW, listed right at the top of my profile right next to "Married to" and "monogamous with" and "owned by").
If you can get him to agree to let me put my mouth on another man's cock, then we'll talk.
Subtle, but not too subtle... I mean, "monogamous" is RIGHT THERE. He'll get it, right? Maybe? Nobody can be that derpy.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
Ok- i will talk to him and if he gives permission then ill write back, ok? i need a good blowjob and i bet you do it well.
Guess not. But this could be interesting... Let's see what he says to "Cookie."
...To Hubby Man:
The part of Cookie will be played by Squeaky today, as Cookie is too busy working to deal with the derp.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
cookies squeaky, is a nice looking girl, i went to talk with her and she seems nice, but told me she is in a mono relationship so cant see others. All i want is a nice blowjob and im a nice friendly guy and she tol dme if she had your permission she'd happily do it.
I was thinking we could meet at a nice casino or something eat/listen to music then I will use her mouth for a little bit, if she has any limits id respect them, what you think? you ok with her doing it?
Wait, I said what?
*Scrolls up...*
No, I did not say that, or anything close to that... But this does give me an excellent opportunity to see if the "nice guy" is really nice, or not.
The Hubby 34M
Flint, Michigan
I think My sub and I are going to have to have a little "talk" when I get home about what monogamous means and how her mouth isn't for anybody's junk but Mine.
But thanks for bringing it to My attention that I need to correct her behavior ASAP.
Cookie
Ooo... The "big mean domly dom card." Any person with at least a modicum of empathy would feel bad if they got someone in trouble. Will there be back peddling?
...To Husband Man:
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
Well maybe a good punishment willl be to abuse her throat, give it a good pounding and tie her arms and force her to take it, she needs it done to her. Im sorry for getting you upset and asking, its a shame i cant use her mouth lol.
I wish i could even watch her suck you off on skype though? let me knoe
Nope. This dood's pleased that he's potentially gotten someone in trouble by blatantly lying about what they said? Wow... Just, wow.
...And back to me:
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
oh u about to be in deep water when he comes home. yepppp
sigh... Yep, he's a Real & True "Nice Guy(tm)"
Me
Or, far more likely, he's going to come home, we're going to laugh about the moron who was too stupid to understand the concept of monogamy, and then we'll fuck like rabid bunnies. Seriously. Did you honestly think that there was any chance in hell that he'd be all "Sure man, go ahead and get a beej from my wife"? Or that I'd actually do it? Tool.
But hey, thanks for giving us some great fodder for a group that totally enjoys messages from inept kinksters and the inept kinksers who send that sort of shit.
Yeah, there's a group for mocking this sort of thing, but it's like Fight Club. We're not supposed to talk about it.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
what the hell is that group? can u show me at least lol?
btw quit actin like im this big bad clown, i saw a girl i asked for some head, its what u kinda girls are into and do on the reg. are you in denial or something lol?
Girls like me? Oh, he must mean "girls in crappy porn and erotica". And "denial"? WTF? Because I'm in a monogamous relationship? Is this some sort of convoluted "You're a fake sub" line?
Me
Huh. You lie to my husband, gloat about thinking you've gotten me in trouble, and I'm supposed to do something for you...
That's funny.
Oh, and BTW, girls like me? We don't fuck clowns. Maybe if you stopped acting like one you'd see more action.
Fucking clown.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
you clearly are in for a rude awakening you got NO CLUE. you dont know your place in life and you dont realise how used you are getting by that guy you call a husband, i feel bad for you now
No clue AND I'm being used... I'll be sure to tell Husband man that after he gets done with his 13 hour day working to support his wife and family. Yep. Poor Cookie probably had no clue that he's supposed to let derps use me because if he doesn't then he's using me... Wait, what? Ow, my brain.
Me
Now that's just sad. Almost as sad as that pitiful "I'm a nice guy who can't get my dick sucked" game you tried to run.
Clown boy- I've been doing this relationship and kink thing since you were in grade school. You want to see someone who doesn't have a clue, go find a mirror because it sure as hell isn't me.
I bet he's going to start in with the derogatory name calling soon, it's pretty much his only option by now.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
yah your insults really turn me down i mean, you cant even think and act for yourself. You need to find a "man" to order you around, to tell you what to do, you live and depend on a guy, yeah you are a STRONG MINDED CHICK? LOL PLZ. hes got you pegged girl. sad sad, 1 day ull wakeup.
Oh, close. He had to go with how "weak" submissive women are. And an insult to my relationship and Cookie's ethical compass... I think there are bonus points for that on my derpy DimDom BINGO card...
Me
And your blatantly inaccurate assumptions about my life are making me laugh. A lot. Keep it up, eventually you might say something I haven't already heard 100 times before.
...And that's the last I heard from him.
Until, like a bad sequel, he returned to pester Husband Man...
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
your bitch told me to work out plans with you, whats a good hotel i can meet you guys at?
Come on now, that's just sad guy. Give up already. You HAVE to know by now that we're talking about this to each other. You can't be THAT stupid, can you?
The Hubby 34M
Flint, Michigan
LOL.
She did? Interesting, because I can't recall her saying that in any of the messages she exchanged with you (which I read, by the way).
You bore me.
I am bored, bored I say!
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
ok heres what happened, we talked on the phone, then she blocked me to make it look like she hates me but we are working something out. Dont worry im not gonna do nothin bad to her, just use her mouth thats it .
keep not trusting your loved one real solid relationship there man.
keep controllin her ur a strong real man Lollllll
Huh? "keep not trusting me"? What's he talking about? I don't understand!!! We're talking to each other about this RIGHT NOW. Where's the lack of trust in that?
The Hubby34M
Flint, Michigan
More boring, unimaginative tripe. But I expected no less.
Shoo! You have now outlived your usefulness as a tool for our amusement. We no longer require your services, as lame as they were.
SukMahWeenie!25M
Almost Canada, USA
nice comeback man. lets find out if you are weak like your girl and block, or maybe ull do that after i show you the pictures of me and her together? i mean she said she needed a real man
Oh, I see what happened there. He got "man" and "clown" confused... Poor thing.
The Hubby34M
Flint, Michigan
Ok. Send me pictures. Make sure to get the tattoo on her thigh in them so I know it's her though.
Otherwise I'd be inclined to think that you're just a sad, pathetic little man with nothing better to do than tell blatantly obvious lies in an effort to stroke his own ego.
A) I don't have a tattoo on my thigh.
B) Pretty sure I already think that. Probably because it's pretty obvious.
And then I blocked him on Cookie's account. The derp was amusing for a bit, but like most derp it gets old fast.
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