Emotional Fidelity? What the hell is that?

There's a thing that's happening over here in Squeaktopia that has me pondering emotional fidelity.

Now, because I have superior Google Fu skills I thought I'd just do a quick and easy search so that I could kind of get my thoughts into order for the Squeaksplaining that needs to happen later today. Turns out, explaining emotional fidelity is about as easy as explaining what an elephant looks like to a blind man.

Oh, there's plenty of examples of what emotional infidelity is. I could find that shit fast, there's about a million-billion sites devoted to it... But nothing about emotional fidelity.

You'd think that it would be helpful to have something that says "This is what emotional fidelity looks like" so you know what to avoid. That seems far more helpful than explaining what infidelity is because after it's happened the damage is done.

So, I began thinking.

You never see emotional infidelity as an issue between two friends who are girls (or guys) and straight.

Friends are supposed to bond emotionally. We support each other, we love each other, it's what friends are supposed to do... Unless it's hetero folks and a guy-girl friendship. Then that shit gets tricky.

An action, say, telling your bestie about a promotion at work, or that annoying thing your spouse does, or your feelings is totally kopasetic. It's just friends sharing. Friends do that, it's expected.

But tell those things to a friend of the opposite sex (or same sex I guess if you're wired that way) and you're suddenly standing on shaky ground. The chances of your significant other getting bent out of shape increases dramatically. Jealousy might rear its ugly head.

I had to think about that for a few minutes... And it hit me: Most of us who are straight are not romantically attracted to our same-sex besties. Someone of the opposite sex though- Then there is that possibility of attraction. There's the possibility that emotional bonding might lead to romantic interest forming.

There's a threat, and real or imagined, it's enough to wreak havoc on a relationship.

Still, that doesn't help me to figure out what the conversation I need to have later needs to include. It doesn't let me know what parameters or limits I need to have in place to feel secure with Cookie having a friend of the opposite sex (with whom there is some unpleasant history).

And it's stupid because if this was his best guy friend I wouldn't care... But here we go again- Best guy friend is not a potential threat to my happiness. And I'm not worried about Cookie physically cheating, I'm worried about him becoming emotionally dependant on someone for support who is female, which would be worse than a fling that meant nothing.

Something that means nothing doesn't bother me. OK, it would bother me but it wouldn't bother-bother me.

I'm worried about him sharing more about himself with her than with me. I'm not OK with him giving away the important parts of his emotional self to another woman. I'm worried about that meaning something.

Gah! This is so stupid...

I should just nip this in the bud and say, "Yeah, remember how great things were back when she was in your life and creating strife? Lets' just avoid the potential for a repeat of that."

I'm going to go bang my head against a wall for a few hours.
Maybe that will sort some of this shit out.