Shakespeare And BDSM (Two Seemingly Unrelated Topics That Aren't)

I'm going to quote Shakespeare here in a minute, not to show off my insane love of books or to showcase what a pretentious twat I am, but because it's an excellent quote that I feel can save people from a lot of the angst that can accompany doing something outside the norm- Something many people consider bad, or dark, or any of a hundred different negative adjectives that are often applied to WIITWD.

"For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
(That's Hamlet, yo)

It's a thought-provoking idea- That everything that exists does so in a neutral state, neither good or bad, until we apply our social constructs, prejudices, preferences, morals or ethics to it... It's not good or bad until we think it is.

Sadly for kink (and for a lot of other things in our lives) our thoughts about it begin to form long before we're aware that it's something we may be interested in later on in life. Society, our family, the media, they all influence our perceptions of a thing and inform us if that thing is good or bad. They essentially do our thinking for us.

By the time we're adults this influence has informed us that BDSM is bad. It's immoral, unethical, dark, dangerous, wrong, shameful... You get the point, I'm sure.

For some folks that's OK because they get off on the notion that they're doing something forbidden, they embrace the negative and revel in how "dark" they are, they enjoy the FU Society aspect of it, the "bad" label is what does it for them- It's the major draw.

But for other folks, this programming causes a great deal of angst. I see it on a daily basis in my meanderings though the Kinkyverse- Nice people who feel pretty rotten about themselves for having a body that likes pain or bondage, or a mind that enjoys submission (or domination), humiliation, etc.

They question how they can reconcile the nice person that they are and the "bad" things they want to do.

Enter Shakespeare's quote (stage left)- For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Realizing that these thoughts are nothing more than societal programming, and that you can actively change how you think about things, is an astounding thing that can solve this conundrum (and a great many other conundrums). Society (or your family, the media, et al) may have told you that this thing is bad- But you obviously have other thoughts on the matter. If you think it's good, it's fulfilling, and it brings you some amount of happiness... That's the thinking that should matter. Your thoughts are what matter.

Kink in itself is neither good or bad. It's neutral.
If you think it's good, then it is, and damn what anybody else thinks you should think.

Except Shakespeare. He was spot on in this instance.