I've seen this thing a few times. A few years back I even cherry-picked some of the questions and answered them because I was bored. They're probably on here somewhere, maybe. I'm not sure what all I moved from various other blogs to this one when I started it up.
But, the point of this isn't to answer these questions (I've included the whole thing below), it's to question the point of the questions because on another lady's blog some imbecilic nitwit (With a whole 29 years of experience!!!) made a remark that got me thinking- He said something along the lines that if you partake in this 30 day activity you're a moron who needs to read more books.
And my brain farted.
pfffft!
I mean, books are great and can teach you a lot about the Kinkyverse around you, but they don't teach you how to take that knowledge and apply it to yourself and your relationship. That's what questions that make you reflect upon yourself, your wants and needs for a relationship, can come in handy. Questioning yourself can help take book learning and turn it into practical application. You'd think that someone with 29 years of experience would recognize that... But like I said: Nitwit.
And granted, some of the questions will probably have more value than others- For myself I'm seeing "Day 1" as having the potential for insight and personal reflection... "Day 21"? Not so much. But some folks may think that positions are an important part of their submission so I'm not going to knock it.
But eh- I fail to see how personal reflection equates to being an idiot. Seems to me that it would be a valuable thing to employ if one were considering entering into a D/s dynamic. So I'm reposting the questions as a tool (or a time waster) for my fellow submissives. I might even answer them... Oh who am I kidding? I like to hear the sound of my fingers typing and I'm pretty damn bored. I'll answer the silly things, probably in one big ass post.
Day 1 – Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
Day 2 – Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?
Day 3 – How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?
Day 4 – Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you
Day 5 – Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?
Day 6 – What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
Day 7 – Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Day 8 – Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Day 9 – Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?
Day 10 – Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Day 11 – Do you include service as a part of your expectations of your submission? How do you define service? What does it mean to you? If not, what is it about the concept of service that is not for you?
Day 12 – Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Day 13 – Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
Day 14 – Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Day 15 – Has your submission evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you and if not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?
Day 16 – Have you found your submission has changed with different partners/relationships? If you’re involved with partners of both sexes, does your submission relate or change based on gender or does it depend on the person?
Day 17 – What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Day 18 – Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Day 19 – How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Day 20 – Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?
Day 21 – Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Day 22 – Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Day 23 – Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Day 24 – What are the emotions that most directly let you access submission? What feelings do they inspire?
Day 25 – Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
Day 26 – What are the qualities you seek in a dominant partner and why? Are some qualities deal-breakers as in “must” haves or “must not” have?
Day 27 – Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
Day 28 – Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?
Day 29 – Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
Day 30 – Is your need to submit being met? If not, or if your situation changed, do you think that you could continue in your life and still be happy/content if you were never able to express your submission in the way that feels best to you again? What makes submission special to you?
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