The Myth of "The Traditions."

Traditions are nice things.
They help folks fee connected to one another, they bring people together, they help us connect with our pasts. Traditions serve an important role in society.

So, it's not surprising that the Kinkyverse wants to get in on the "tradition" action as well, and you can see it in a lot of places- Folks quote the traditions of the "Old Guard" or claim to follow "Leather" traditions. They claim to be a "traditional" Dom or sub (master and slave, top and bottom, etc). They've had traditional "training" or studied the "traditions" under Master-grand-High-Pooh-Bah Bob for eleventy billion years...

And that's cool. If they want to follow their "traditions" because it makes them happy? More power to them.

...Except there are some problems with "traditions". Some folks who get on their high traditional horse have a nasty tendency to bemoan the laissez faire attitude of "non-traditional" kinksters who are (undoubtedly) ruining the "scene" singlehandedly with their poo-pooing of the vaunted, high-holy traditions.

And there's this unpleasant thing that happens where their "traditions" are used as a cudgel to bash other "inferior" kinksters over their non consenting noggins.

And then there's the rather iffy "traditions" that nobody has ever head of that make you wonder if someone had a stanky brainfart and said to themselves, "Self! I think we ought to call this thing we want to do 'traditional'... Makes it sound all super-special-important instead of the stanky brainfart it really is!"

Now, bring a newbie into this steaming mess of "traditions" and unpleasant things start happening.

Formerly happy people start looking at the dynamic they've created for themselves (or are thinking about forming for themselves) and they begin thinking that this thing that previously sounded awesome to them (and probably was awesome for them) is no longer good enough.

Or they get the idea that they can't form the dynamic that they want because they have to follow some "traditional" way of doing things, so they settle for something unfulfilling or they give up on the Kinkyverse altogether.

Or they let themselves be talked into a dynamic that is unfulfilling or even dangerous by some Domly sort (or an abuser) who is just making shit up as he goes along and calling it "tradition" to give his desires weight that they wouldn't have otherwise.

That said- There's something important to think about when you see someone bemoaning nontraditional kinksters, or espousing some super-right traditional way of doing something...

Traditions are a myth.

Not because some specific areas or groups don't have their own traditions or values that they adhere to, because there are some long-running groups that do have enough cohesion and agreement among it's members to have formed traditions, but because none of those traditions will be recognized by every other group. There are no cohesive "traditions" for the entire Kinkyverse.

Even among one of the oldest kink communities in the US, the Gay Leather community which has been around since WWII, you're going to find different ways of doing things in different groups.

And to quote one of my favorite people on fet, because he's so damn well informed- "When you hear someone speaking of The Old Guard, or the ancient secret training houses of Europe, or whatever, at best, you are hearing some truths that were about some specific individuals or areas, and at worst, something they made up or lifted from some old porn they read, because there never was such a universally experienced or recognized thing going on. We are currently living in the Golden Age as far as leather and kink go, at least as far as community goes."

TL;DR- If you want to engage in something "traditional" because it fulfills some desire that you have... Super awesome! Get down with your traditional self. have at!

BUT... If you're being beat over the noggin with someone else's "traditions" feel free to laugh at them and ignore their ass-nuggetry. Traditions are a myth, at least in the "Well, everybody ever used to do it this way and this is the way it's supposed to be done because tradition" way.