Friday, March 21, 2014

If aftercare is a thing, what about "before care"?

So the most obvious thing jumped out at me today while reading a post on Fet. This person asked what aftercare was (because she'd heard about it but wasn't sure what it entailed), and then she asked if there was an aftercare was there also a "before care"?

At first it was a silly question. I mean, "before care"? Who does that? Who asks about that kind of thing? What a noob.

But then I got thinking about it. Aftercare is such a big deal that most people have heard of it. They might not know what it is exactly, of if they may need it, but they know it's a thing so they ask about it.

My idea is to make "before care" as big of a thing as aftercare is, that way the newbies start asking "What is before care?"

Think about it.

Everybody who has been doing WIITWD has a pretty good idea of the things that generally happen before engaging in play with a new partner. You know, getting to know that person, establishing trust and compatibility, ensuring that everybody's needs will get met and that some safety protocol is in place... But there's no Super Special Kinky Term for that stuff.

Maybe if we gave it a name, the newbies would ask about it, because if it has a Super Special Kinky Term then it must be something that they need to know about and more importantly: Use.

And yes, that pre-game stuff a lot of us do is pretty much just common sense.
And yes, it's a bit silly that it might need a Kinky Term to get the newbie's attention.
And yes, having spent a few years on the planet and probably having dated and having had relationships before discovering the Kinkyverse it really shouldn't be rocket science...

But it is.

Frenzy strikes and all of a sudden the things a person used to know about dating, relationships, and common sense seem to take a flying leap out of the nearest available window.

So perhaps "Before Care" should become a thing.

It might help some of the more vulnerable members of our loosely-knit community be a little safer and contribute to healthier, happier relationships.

What do you guys think?

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