The Perfect Dominant

For those of you who haven't virtually met him, this is Cookie.
I write about him often because he's a very important part of my life, he's the biggest and best part of my happy, and I love him more than pie.

I often wax ecstatic about his many virtues:
How hard-working he is (he just got a raise, the second in the past year), his loyalty, brilliance, humor, dedication. What a good dad he is to the real kids and our puppy "kids." How neatly our kinks and general vanilla goals/beliefs/whatnot align... I tell everybody who will listen how perfect he is for me, because he is, and my ecstatic waxing is one way I show him how much I appreciate him (even if he doesn't read it. Someday he might).

I don't think it's odd that I like to write about his awesomeness, and it's something I see a lot of other submissive women (or just women in general) do when they're happy with their significant other and happy in their relationship. And in the context of the Kinkyverse, writing about our Domly Ones is often a way to illustrate that other submissives don't have to settle for someone who doesn't meet their needs, they can find someone awesome and have an awesome relationship because we've done it... Just look at how awesome our Doms are, look at how happy we are.

I think it's important to provide these examples, there are a lot of submissive women out there who think that they can't find the guy of their dreams, or that they have to settle, or that they can't expect more because they're submissive and for some reason D-types don't have to be compatible beyond kink... Providing examples of how we found not only the perfect guy for us, but the perfect Dom as well- that's good.

What's not so good, and what I started thinking about tonight is that when I and other submissives talk about our guys we're only ever talking about what makes them great guys. We only really talk about the good things, so I wonder if we're creating this picture of a Perfect Dominant that's setting an unrealistic bar for real life, normal guys to live up to.

We're creating a picture of what the Perfect Dominant is, what constitutes "real" and "true," and I wonder if that's not a bit unfair to them and to us.

In my writings, Cookie never fails, he never screws up, he doesn't get sick. He's always steadfast and strong, he never falters or fails. He's my safe harbor, a paragon of manly-domly virtue, and well... He's disgustingly perfect.

Thing is... He's not.
I tend to gloss over or just ignore all the ways he doesn't qualify for sainthood.

He makes dumb mistakes. The other day, the insurance on the car lapsed. We've been driving the car around for a week without insurance on it (granted, it's not just his fault, I could have asked about it, but he handles the money and bills so I didn't).
He never remembers to pull his undershirts out of his work shirts, something that drives me batty on laundry day.
Rinsing milk out of a glass is a concept he's totally unfamiliar with.
He doesn't always think things through- He actually thought it was a good idea to trade his car that ran well but he had a payment for his parent's paid-off, barely-running car... That he would have had to pay to fix.
He has an obsessive-compulsive need to acquire Nerf Guns. I'm dead serious. Some people hoard trash or pets? Cookie hoards Nerf guns.
Sometimes he feels down and I'm his rock.
Sometimes he can't handle something so I do it.
At the moment he's suffering from some version of the Flu that makes him complain, whine, puke, and snore all night long. All. Night. Long... Loudly.
He doesn't "know it all," he's not without his short-comings, and the reality of it is- He's not The Perfect Dominant. He's not the stuff of legends, of fiction, or anything even remotely reality based. He's human.

Although he might be perfect for me, he's far from perfection because nobody is actually perfect. Not outside the pages of fiction, anyways.

Just another random thought for another long, lonely night (ugh. I cannot wait for this third shift business to be over).

All the Nerf Guns!