Does This Outfit Make Me Look Submissive?

Some sweet young thing meandered her way into a group I visit earlier this week and asked, "What are submissive clothes?"

I felt my eyebrow hoist itself upwards towards my hairline and thought, "Clothes that don't struggle when you try to put them in the hamper?" before wandering off to read another topic.

It wasn't until later that I thought a bit more about the question and about what the girl who wrote it was trying to express.

Was she asking if there is some sort of Submissive Uniform- A type of outfit that all submissives wear that will easily identify them as a submissive?

Was she wondering what outfits individual submissives might wear to help themselves into a submissive mindset or to set the scene for a specific type of play?

Was she asking if certain events had dress codes that needed to be followed?

Was there something else her rather vague question was trying to express?

I don't know, but seeing that the topic of clothing comes up fairly often amongst new submissives I thought it might be worth taking a shot at here.

There's an old adage that states, "The clothes make the man" and to some extent it's true- If you want people to see you in a specific light there's no easier way to do that then with the clothes you wear; Put a man in a spiffy suit, no matter what his occupation, and most people will see that suit and think "power." Put him in grubby, worn-out jeans and a tee and people will not think so highly of him. Put him in a Hawaiian shirt and they'll think "Jimmy Buffet."

Clothes express parts of ourselves that we want others to see, so it's not surprising that new submissives often ask what types of clothing will help express their submissive identity. The problem with that though, is this: Much like no two women will dress alike to express their personalities, no two submissives will agree on what outfit makes them feel or expresses their submissive side the best. Heck, some submissives don't even depend on clothes to set the mood.

And you can further complicate that with their Dominant's preferences regarding their mode of dress: No two Dominants are going to agree on what outfit (or lack there-of) constitutes the perfect Submissive "look."

For me? Clothes don't really matter to my submission beyond what they do for my Dominant. And my Dominant? He doesn't really care what I wear so long as it doesn't look cheap or "slutty" (which in his mind means it's too tight or there's too much skin showing). If he wants me to wear something particular for play or lounging around the house, or he wants to approve a dress I'm thinking about buying for an upcoming wedding- He'll tell me.

Getting back to the topic at hand- I'm afraid there is no Official Submissive Uniform.

The clothing (or lack of clothing) preferred in a relationship is entirely dependant on the people in that relationship.

And if you're going to an event with a dress code? The dress code will be posted on the event's website or on your invitation.

So the easiest thing to do? Wear what makes you feel good and to hell with what outfits the other submissives might be wearing. Much like the only right way to do D/s is the way that you and your partner find fulfilling, the only right outfit to wear while doing that is what you and your partner find hawt. Your s-style is yours to define.