Why So Serious?

There's a great deal about my life that's Serious Business:

Did Cookie pay the mortgage or do I need to break out my mad forgery skillz and write those people a check?
Why are the doggy's toe-nails falling off? Should I take her to the vet? Do we have money for the vet?
Does Hallmark make an "I'm sorry my child bit your child and she needed to get a Rabies shot" card, or should I just send a fruit basket?
Will sharp white organic 35 dollars per pound cheese really make this recipe stellar or can I just use the stuff from Kroger?
Exactly how much does my Mother-in-Law dislike me?
That noise my car's making? Does that mean it's about to blow up in a blaze of glory or can I drive it to the corner store without immolating myself?
Is that a mole or cancer on my shoulder? Oh. It moved... Am I going to get Lyme Disease now?

Like I said, Serious Business. Lots and lots of serious stuff that needs thinking about, needs to be taken care of, needs to be on my brain far more than I'd like it to be... But alas, I've yet to win the Lottery and secret myself away on some tropical island where my Serious Business cannot find me (though thinking about it, I suspect that a tropical island would come with its' own Serious Business- "If that spider bites me will my arm fall off?"... Sometimes you can never win. Sigh.)

So I guess it's not very surprising that kink and my D/s relationship is not something that gets filed under a Serious Business heading. I'm of the opinion that it's called "play" for a reason,  that toys are meant to be fun, and this thing that contributes to my happiness- Well, it should help me be happy.

You wouldn't think that would be such a freakish idea, would you?

It is. Or it is to a lot of people who also like to file kink and BDSM under a Serious Business label.

I suppose if that's what works for them, and if they want to worry about BDSM along with their bills and their kid biting the neighbor's kid, or if their pet really needs to go to the vet or can it maybe wait until the next paycheck... Well, more power to them. Their relationship: Their call.

BDSM as Serious Business seems to be the norm. In most of the stories I've read it's not something that's taken lightly, in fact it seems that everybody involved is some sort of martyr for kink- They're all absolutely miserable. Porn? Same story. Nobody has fun in kinky porn. Pictures? When's the last time you saw a fetish model looking like she was enjoying what was going on? A good deal of websites and blogs devoted to BDSM... Yeah. It's all "right" and "wrong" and "OMFG! End of the world if you don't take what it is that we do seriously!"

Little wonder that folks think that when they do engage in some sort of dynamic it has to be taken as seriously as cancer, the stereotype is that pervasive. Grumpy Doms, miserable submissives, nobody gets to enjoy anything, ever, and god forbid that someone should occasionally crack a smile. BDSM is less enjoyable than a root canal without anesthesia.

But what happens if you're like me and you tend to think that you actually want to enjoy your play, your toys, and your partner?

You can either listen to the So Serious crowd and force yourself into a miserable box because they've forgotten that if it's not their relationship then it's not their call, or you can laugh at them, let them sling their "Not Real" and "Not True" arrows in your general direction and watch in dismay as the arrows bounce of your Epic Shield of Joy, and go about your merry way doing what gives you happiness.

Life is Serious Business, your dynamic doesn't have to be.