A "OTW" Manifesto

Seriously, few things rile me up as much as One True Wayism does...

Something that is very important to me is the relationship. I will be posting this around the site please share it!
Actually, I don't think I will...
Except here and that's just because I'm going to have fun tearing it apart because it's a steaming pile of "I'm doing it right and you're not".

Most people who worry about the Dom / Sub relationship not only do they not understand but they miss the most important part.
And I suppose that you're now going to enlighten me with what the "most important" part of MY relationship should be? Please, carry on then because although I *thought* I knew what that was I bet you're about to tell me how wrong I am.

The Dom is charged with the well being and care of the Sub.
No, that's not part of our dynamic at all. You see, the funny thing is, he expects me to take care of those things on my own- Because I'm a grown-up and I can do that.

The sub will want to serve not only out of fear of punishment but also the want and desire for the protection, love and care of the Dom.
A) We do not have a punishment dynamic.
B) I do not fear him because fear is an unhealthy emotion in a relationship as it implies a lack of trust.
C) I do not want/desire his protection. Uncle Sam gave me the tools I need to see to that on my own.

Domination is not just giving random orders.
Crap! And here Cookie gives random orders all the time! He thinks it's *fun*! Oh, the gall of that man!

A good Dom will find a way to cause the sub to desire pleasing the Dom.
The fuck...? I please my Domly One because I want to. If I didn't want to then there wouldn't be much of anything he could do to make me. But I suppose this is where threat of punishment and fear come in, right?

A Dom, or Dominant, is the protector, teacher, and lover to the sub.
Seriously guy? You really need to stop making these generalizations because they DO NOT apply to all relationships, because (GASP!) In my dynamic I'm the one who is likely to be teaching Cookie something, not the other way around. AND, (oh, the horror!) I don't need protecting. The last time we were in a rukus I wasn't cowering behind him, I was at his side ready to inflict damage.

The Dom is there to care for the subs needs as well as to set her Free.
Some folks buy into that. Some think it's romantic twaddle. I think it's romantic twaddle. I'm as free as the laws of the land allow me to be, a relationship doesn't change that.

By taking control of the Subs Decisions the Dom frees the Sub from the paralytic free will
"Paralytic free will" OMFD. I am laughing so hard at that. Like submissives are some helpless species of deer who just become so overwhelmed by the choices in life that out poor, puny little brains freeze up when we have to make a choice... FFS.

A Dom must be the protector, the Dom must be stronger than the sub, and stronger than other people in the life of the sub.
*coughcoughcough*bullshit*coughcough*

As the teacher, the Dom must be wise and, above all, right.
Oh please. A dominant is not some infallible god and anybody with half a brain can figure that out. A dom is just a guy that someone submits to- Nothing more, nothing less. Setting him up on a pedestal like that just means he has further to fall when he fails- And it'll happen, what with being human and all.

The second a Dom falls short of this he they loose everything in Dom status.
Oh Noes! They'll revoke his Official Dom Card!? Oh, The humanity!!!

The Dom should not arbitrarily punish the sub on a whim. There must be a reason.
Unless, you know, that's what works for their dynamic. Some people LIKE that sort of thing... But I guess that doesn't matter, if they like it then they're doing it wrong because you say so.

To do otherwise will break down the trust and security of the sub.
Or it'll get her hot and bothered, which is also "wrong."

The Dom has to be respected by the sub. Respect is a quality that is earned by the Dom being right, and issuing swift, correct justice and reward to the sub.
Respect is a quality that is earned by being a person someone wants to respect. Personally, I could give a fuck if Cookie's "right", I'd much rather him be kind to small animals and children, a man of his word, a hard worker, honest and loyal... You know, the normal sorts of things that I respect people for.

The Dom is not there to inflict pain and degradation on the sub, but to give the sub a goal and a direction on how to love and please.
Unless he is. Some people LIKE that sort of dynamic. It gets their pink parts moist, it makes them happy.

Besides taking care of a Sub the another big responsibility is to LOVE. As the lover, the Dom is loving and, when appropriate, stern or rough.
You do realize than plenty of happy, healthy dynamics have nothing to do with love, right?

He must recognize that he is the only source of pleasure for the sub.
Yes, because for some unfathomable reason submissives are incapable of finding joy in anything they might have liked before Uber Domly Dom came along. Shoes, food, family, job, hobbies... Those things just stop being pleasurable.

He must see to it that this area is not neglected nor sub par.
That's a tall order given that nothing in the whole world but him can give her pleasure.

The Dom should, when appropriate, be gentle, supportive, and tender to the sub. A Dom/sub relationship is not just about overpowering. It is about the Dom caring for the well-being of the sub. If punishment is required to stop a destructive action by the sub, then it comes from the Dom. On the other hand, when correct action has been noted by the Dom, love and caring should come from him to the sub.

And hey guy, if you read this and take offence because I'm not all impressed by your ONE TRUE WAY manifesto- Think about this: If you hadn't written some bit of tripe that basically said that the only "right" way to do D/s was your way, if you had just kept this writing about your relationships and what worked for you- I wouldn't have ripped it apart. I would have ignored it because your relationship is none of my business. But sadly, you made my relationship your business when it's not and I don't appreciate that.