Dominance is NOT abuse. EVER.

In replying to a thread in the forums I followed a link to some Holier-Than-Thou Manifesto on the "levels" of Dominance and Masters- A piece of inane tripe, but that's not why I'm writing this bloggy thinger. The reason I'm cluttering up your feed and the Wall-O-Blogs is this paragraph in the article:

There is a second group of light Dominants or persons with a desire to control without the adequate understanding or tools to do so. I sometimes call these persons low level Dominants. Their range or sphere (their world) is small, they can be poorly educated, relatively low paying jobs, somewhat narrow minded and may be subject to 'dominant bursts', or short term barely or uncontrolled violent outbursts. These low level Dominants are OFTEN abusive and were generally bully's or victims of abuse as children. They may be full of justifications for their 'actions' often assigning 'blame' or directing by means of fear, intimidation or threat of pain. They are often without honor, courage and veracity as individuals and when encountered in the BDSM world should be avoided or not sought out to be in a relationship with.


For those of you not in the know, it is generally considered common knowledge that Dominants are NOT abusers- An abuser might try to excuse their behavior by claiming to be some sort of D-type, but they are not a Dom. Ever. They're an abuser, plain and simple.

Dominance is not abuse. Dominance is based on consent, agreed upon boundaries, safety, and hopefully helps the person involved in the relationship feels secure, healthy, fulfilled, and happy. It is a GOOD thing.

Abuse is not dominance, it cares nothing for consent, boundaries, or safety. It comes from a place of insecurity and violence and generally makes the person experiencing it feel insecure, unfulfilled, fearful, and unhappy. It is a BAD thing.

There are a lot of us out here in the Kinkyverse who spend a great deal of time trying to pound home the fact that Abusers ARE NOT Dominants. We write until our fingers are worn to nubbins in the hopes that the new, the uninformed, and the innocent (also the silly) will be able to recognize the difference between the two and avoid the abusers...

So for this person, who is claiming to have experience in the BDSM word to actually give these predators a title that includes the word "Dominant" in it- It boggles my mind. It also dismays me and pisses me off all at once. that the new and uninformed will see and think, "Oh, he's a D-type. I'd better listen to them..." It's irresponsible and a huge safety issue and a kick in the teeth to everybody who works so hard to help others see the difference between dominance and abuse.

Ugh. I could go on and on, but I think I've belabored the point enough. Awful tripe is awful, ignorant writer person is ignorant.