The English Language & "Breaking"

I like words. When I was little my dad and I used to read through the thesaurus, looking for obscure words, in an attempt to stump each other. I have actually read the dictionary ( a few times, even). Words are important to me because they are used to express ideas. The right words can make people have an "Ah-Ha!" moment of understanding and engender clarity, the wrong words can leave them befuddled, unenlightened, or with an idea that you didn't mean to impart.

So there's that. I'm an anal retentive word Nazi (not a word I like to use, but the one that conveys the idea the best). I'm a very literal person.

Now, I wrote all of that to set the stage for this next bit: My visceral, negative reaction to the word "break" as it's often applied to submissives here in the Kinkyverse. It seems that there's three main usages for the word (and I'm going to borrow from ShatteredandShining's poll because that's where the idea for this blog cam from)-

Break their defenses, walls, help them be open

Break them down so they surrender

Break their will so they submit completely

All of those, even the one example that's being framed in a fairly positive context, make me shudder. "Break" is a word that implies harm, damage, force. It's synonyms are crack, fracture, burst, split, splinter, shatter, smash. There are about eleventy-billion usages for the word and any of those usages with a positive connotation are few and far between (If you're curious, feel free to follow this link to The Free Dictionary: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/break ).

So it makes me wonder; Why is such a negative word so popular when it comes to how a person wants to be treated or how submissives are treated especially when there are so many other words that can convey a positive, healthy experience?

Build me up so I can begin to dismantle my own wall...

Inspire me to surrender because you're someone I can trust and rely on...

Give me a reason to bend my will to your own...

I know there has to be some Hot fantasy Factor playing into it. There's loads of poorly written (and well written) erotica where the Domly fixes the poor little subbie's problems, forces them to surrender, tortures them until their will breaks... But that's fantasy. It doesn't have to be healthy or leave the person capable to deal with life on their own after the Domly exits stage right. Fantasy and fiction- They don't have to take into account that once something has been broken it will need to be repaired.

Is it a failure of the English language that there's not another, better, word available to express those ideas?

I don't know. I suspect there is, but whatever those reasons are they elude me because the idea of being "broken" is so utterly repugnant and feels so harmful. Perhaps someone else will have another view that might bring clarity or another word that might serve better in the place of "breaking."

If they do, I'd love to hear it.