Protector Man! (Now with laser-beam eyeballs)

I was reading through some old stuff on my profile and I saw something that riled me up at the time I responded to it, and then riled me up again when I re-read it, so I figured that because I have a few more hours to burn till Cookie gets home I'd go on a bit of a rant.

Today's rant is brought to you by the letter P (for Protector).

Personally, I don't see the need to have some person with a really meaningless label (which is saying something because of the inherent lack of meaning that accompanies most labels in the BDSM world) watching one's back. Especially as most of this supposed "back watching" goes on in The Realm of The Interwebs.

Seriously? What's there to be protected from online?

Some asshole sends you a shitty message?
That's what buttons like "delete", "block" and "report as spam" exist for. If you really cannot manage to move your mouse to where those buttons are located on your screen, maybe you shouldn't be on the internet at all.

Some guy decided to be all Domly and declare that you belong to him now?
Again with those handy clickable buttons. Or my favorite response- Verbally humiliate them in a blog so the entire world can see what inept twats they are.

There's A LOT of stupid online, but last time I checked nobody can jump through your computer screen and *BAM!* suddenly be all up in your house bossing you around. So really, what is so scary about the online world that you need to be protected from it?

And in real life? Ok, maybe I can see where someone having your back is a wise choice (who hasn't hauled a buddy along on a blind date?), but the whole "So and so is protecting me" thing... Know what? That doesn't make you sound like someone who shouldn't be fucked with, it makes you sound like prey. It makes you sound like an inept boob who can't take care of business on your own. It makes you sound weak and vulnerable.

It sends a very clear message: "I cannot protect myself, I need someone else to do that for me."

So here's a thought- Instead of abdicating personal responsibility for your own safety and looking like a chunk of Grade A Black Angus Grass-Fed Sirloin to a herd of hungry men who've just lighted up their Webbers for the first time since winter set in- Go take a few (or a lot, preferably taught by someone who's ex military special forces)classes in self defense. Learn to handle yourself and others who might try to put you in a compromising situation, because guess what? That "Protector" isn't going to be there when you're alone in a hotel room with some creep who's conned you into thinking he's a good guy. Protector's not going to have your back when you're not at his (or her) side.

This "Protector" business? When push comes to shove it's about as useful as warding off a Doberman with a Nerf gun.

Protect your own damn self.

Sheesh.