Domly Knows Best

Like that? I thought it was a clever (ok, not-so-clever) play on that old US sitcom, Daddy Knows Best. Sometimes I really amuse myself.

Anyways- So my friend sent me a somewhat alarming message on Fet to get hold of her via FB pronto. She needed some advice. I, not being the shittiest friend ever (though I suspect I'm in the running), messaged her back as soon as I got up. Stupid third shift.

She told me that she was freaking out and riled up because the new Domly she was seeing had wanted her to print something and write "I'm Xxx's sub, he knows what's best" on it. One of her other sub buddies gave her the incredibly deep advice that she was having issues with this because it was an affirmation of her submission and friend just wasn't ready to surrender.

Hearing that she'd resolved the issue to her satisfaction was nice (I like my friends to be happy), but it got the gears in my little Squeaky noggin spinning...

What is it with the whole "Domly Knows Best" notion?

Because you know that it's highly improbable that one person will actually know best all the time. It's incredibly unlikely that someone will be able to accurately predict what is right for another person at all, unless they know them extremely well (and even then it's hit or miss). Even as well as I know Cookie (and I know him like I know the back of my hand) I wouldn't even begin to think that I would know what was best for him. Hell- Even being my kids mom I doubt I know what's really best (I just try to do my best for them. And there's a difference between the two).

Personally I can't help but feel it's that ugly "Poor Wittle Submissive" stereotype rearing it's vile head. You know, the one that makes all of us submissives sound like lost little lambs that have no clue how to take care of ourselves or make even the simplest decision about our lives without a Big, Strong, All-Knowing Domly to guide our poor wittle clueless selves.

*Snort, scoff*

What over-weaning drivel. And hubris. Though I suppose it would make the insecure sort feel all super-duper powerful. And it would help the sleazy sort avoid doing the communication thing...

"Um. Why do you want me to put you on my saving's account?"
"Don't question me! I know best! Now do it!"

*Sigh.*

Long story short- I told my friend that I'd take it as a serious affront to my intelligence and capabilities if Cookie pulled that shit with me. Because really, that's what it is in my mind. It's one adult telling another one that because they gave themselves a title they magically know what's best and I find that insulting. It's insulting to think that just because a guy is a Domly that he's this infallible font of knowledge and wisdom who knows what's "best" for a grown woman who's been taking care of herself just fine for YEARS before he came along. Like I said, hubris.

It's stupid and it annoys me.

And so I ranted.