The Problem With Priviledge.

In a discussion on That Other Site I stumbled across a discussion about the word "Cisgender" the other day. I'd seen the word before but didn't really know what it meant (a person who identifies with the gender they were born with: I was born a girl and I identify as a girl) so it was kind of interesting. And I can see how the word can be useful in a "Is Seeking" way- It readily identifies the type of person you might be looking for (I'm a girl who is looking for a Cisgendered guy), it's just a form of shorthand in my view.

So that's cool, I learned something new.

But then someone brought up "Cisgender Privilege." Basically the idea that because of the person you are you have these privileges that someone who isn't like you won't have.

And I get that, I know that because of my race, gender, and sexual orientation I might have options available to me that are not available to someone who isn't like me- I'm white, a girl who identifies as a girl, and straight. It sucks, but until enough people are willing to work on changing those issues it's not going to change... And like I said, that sucks.

But here's the problem with that whole concept of "Because you were born the way you are you have these privileges that I don't have"... On a one-on-one basis, they're not always true, or the thing someone sees as a "privilege" comes with its own set of problems. There's also the issue that by calling these things that someone like me gets by default a "privilege" it sends a "You get this and I don't so feel guilty and bad about the person you were born as" message instead of a, "Hey, this isn't right and it needs to be fixed" message. One message might inspire people to want to help resolve what's wrong- The other... It can make people feel defensive, guilty, or like you're dismissing whatever problems they face in their life because, well, they're just not as special or put-upon as you.

Not something that exactly inspires helpfulness, you know? So yeah. Instead of telling me how privileged I am when you have no idea what my life is like? Just tell me what I can do to help solve these issues that you face. If I can help, I will. For me, it's that simple.