Do Your Homework, Newbs.

*Warning: This is probably the worst thing I've ever written when it comes to angry, bile-spewing rants. It's going to piss some people off. Right now, I don't much care. I'm sicksicksick of hearing about people getting hurt, I'm tired of watching train wrecks about to happen. Being nice isn't cutting it, so maybe this will. Hold onto your ass, it's going to be a rough ride*

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this BDSM wonderland you're traipsing through, oogling with your rose-tinted glasses, it's not a safe place. This isn't your grade school playground where all the sharp corners have been coated with foam, where the ground is covered with shredded rubber to cushion your falls, and there's a recess monitor watching out for you in case you do something stupid to stop you from getting your ass handed to you on a platter.

And most of you (I'd like to think) know that.

But the rest of you, the little twits who've read 50 Shades of Grey and decide you want a Dom, the little nincompoops who managed to stumble across some kinky website and want a Master because the idea makes your pink parts moist, the insufferably moronic imbiciles who think you can waltz in and play and play and never pay... Fuck you.

Yeah, you heard me. I just said FUCK YOU.
And then for good measure I said it again in all caps!

I am sick unto death of reading post after post by newbies wondering "Is this D/s or is it abuse?"
Of newbies complaining about their "master" (who they've known for all of 4 hours and LOVE) and wondering if they really have to gang-bang his disease riddled buddies and sign over their paychecks and move to BFE.
Of the newbie who got her arm, ribs, and collar bone broken and was wondering if that was OK (because her "dominant" said it was)
Of newbies pitching conniption fits because they got harmed, they got raped, they got their ass handed to them by some predator posing as a "Dominant."
All this sad, depressing, horrible stuff that happens to people who don't take the fucking time to read any reality-based articles, blogs, forums, etc that would have told them that unless you're insanely lucky bad things can and will happen to you if you act like a dumbass.

If you take the time (all of 30 seconds) to type "BDSM safety" into the google search bar it returns 7,810,000 hits in under .27 seconds. Nearly EIGHT MILLION hits, the majority of them dealing with safety and BDSM, and people are still getting harmed, getting used, getting broken, getting killed? What possible reason is there for this? What possible reason is there to assume that when you're new and learning to play you don't have to take a damn shred of personal responsibility for your own safety?

Huh? Somebody tell me why this is? I would LOVE to know.

Is it just sheer laziness?
Is it because people are so used to Big Brother making everything safe and Styrofoam insulated that they naively assume there's no risk?
Is it willful stupidity?

Shit. Once upon a time I was 20 and had a case of sub frenzy too. But I still managed to sit my ass down in front of a computer and learn everything I could about BDSM and safety before jumping into the fray. Once upon a time I was 30 and I somehow managed to spend time getting to know my Domly One and learning to trust him before we even started talking about the parameters of our D/s relationship. And granted, my IQ is higher than 90% of the population, but hell! This isn't exactly rocket science we're doing here.

Jeebus. So what triggered this verbal vitriolic response today?

Some baby seal met her Twue Domly-lovemuffin online.
He's been teaching her the "right" way to think.
He's been protecting her from "bad influences" of other subs and doms.
She's totally going to go from NY to OH and meet him, and get married, and live happily ever after...
Except, well, maybe it's not so cool of him to alienate her from all of her friends and the community?
And maybe it's just a little batshit crazy that he wont let her seek out information on her own, it all has to be approved by him?
And perhaps, just perhaps, his PUBLIC humiliation of her, his threats to her, and his rage towards anybody who suggested he was grooming her for abuse on the thread she started to ask these questions was a wee bit psychotic?

Ugh. Another train wreck that could have been prevented with some education and effort. But you know that she's going to go out to Ohio and she's going to get hurt in a bad way and I'm going to recognize her face on the 6 o'clock news... It's so stupid, and it's so preventable.

And it pisses me right the fuck off.

So how about this: Instead of becoming another effing statistic or horror story on a forum you go and type "BDSM Safety" into the google toolbar and use the brain that eve lotion gave you? Quit being lazy, quit being entitled, and quit depending on people like me to do your work for you.