What It Means...

"They just don't understand what the lifestyle means..."

That's a statement that I see used quite often in the Kinkyverse in reference to the Default World's view of kink, BDSM, and other assorted forms of Alternative Living (which for some reason makes me want to publish a magazine... No idea why). I guess the implied idea is that if They just understood, everything would be copasetic and we'd all coexist in harmony and there would be fluffy bunny huggles all around. In a field of wildflowers full of puppy dogs. And there's be rainbow shitting unicorns. Awesome!

Um. Anyways...

Every time I see that sentiment expressed I kind of scratch my noggin and think, Dood. I have no idea what IT means. How can they ever hope to?

Seriously. I know what it means to me (I think). But to you? Or that guy over there? Or that chick with the kickass Louboutins... No idea.

Someone's probably thinking that it means that they get wild kinky monkey sex.
That girl over there? She's probably thinking that it means something hella squishy and lovey and stars-in-her-eyes-rose-tinted-glasses and OMG! SQUEEEEE!!!eleven!!
Someone else is thinking that it means they get to be in charge.
That guy? The one with the computer in his mom's basement? it means that he's suddenly a playboy millionaire with 27 online submissives fawning all over his internet persona.
For someone it's just play, or it's a committed relationship, or it's NSA sex, or it's fun with friends...
It's monogamous and poly, it's open, swinging, or not.
It's sadistic, masochistic, sensation play, edge play, or at the very fringes of those things or none of those things(maybe).
It's slaves, subs, bottoms, pets, babygirls, little ones, brats, pests, playful ones, the super serious and the irreverent.
It's masters, doms, tops, owners, trainers, and Lord High Awesomepants (how do you pluralize that?).
It's a million different things to a million different people.

So how is it possible to explain to someone not kinky what "it" mans when nobody involved in the Kinkyverse can even agree? There's no consensus, no governing body, no Uber Secret Stealth Cabal of Kink and BDSM and Shit...

Other than saying "It means that I'm happy, healthy, and fulfilled" and leaving "it" at that?

What does it mean to you?