The s-type Spectrum

"What's the difference between a submissive and a slave?"
"Is a slave better than a submissive?"
"Is 24/7 better/more/deeper than being a limited-time s-type?"
"A bottom isn't as good as a submissive, right?"

People have in innate desire to label and quantify things. The idea that this thing fits that label and I can put it a neatly labeled box... It's comforting. It brings order to chaos. It helps us relate to others if we can pick a label and then that label helps us look for people whose labels are similar to our own, people whose ideas and views on the world mesh nicely with what we believe in.

There's some sort of peace to be found when we can connect with people who share our label, a comfort in the company of others that's sometimes hard to find when you're in a box that puts you outside the norm. And that's good, it's awesome to have that community, the camaraderie of other s-types is invaluable when being an s-type is often looked down upon and misunderstood.

But then this thing happens, where for some reason people want to be able to quantify their experience as being superior to another's experience. You get the folks who claim that a slave is better/more/deeper than a submissive because slaves do XYZ and submissives don't. Or you get the submissives who quantify their experience as being better/more/deeper than a bottom because they "actually" submit and bottoms don't...

So the experience, instead of being a "This is good enough for me and I'm happy with that" thing becomes a competition. An orderly line is formulated for the boxes where they progress from one end of the experience to another end- From "lesser" to "more."

bottom-->submissive-->slave

And from there some people throw in even more things to make the experience even more quantifiable:

bedroom only-->limited-time outside the bedroom+bedroom-->24/7 with limits-->TPE

These notions become a pervasive ideology that permeate the experience of being an s-type. It's like playing in a pool- There you are, wading around with a bunch of other people, splashing and having fun- And then somebody figures out that there's a deep end and they decide to swim and announce than they're better than everybody else because their feet don't touch bottom. And for the people wading, suddenly it's just not as satisfying an experience. They could be doing more, they should be doing more, the people in the deep end are looking down on them for their lack of interest in that end of the pool. They're not good enough. Wading isn't good enough. Swimming is better/more/deeper.

Although this missive is about submissives, it applies to the entire BDSM umbrella. Masters are better/more/deeper than Tops. Edge players are better/more/deeper than folks who like a little light bondage. It goes on and on, and while it doesn't harm the people who are secure in their ideas of what BDSM means to them- It's a train wreck waiting to happen for the people who haven't yet gained that security in themselves or their chosen dynamic.

It needs to stop. This concept of better/more/deeper PYL (pick your label) that is driven by competitiveness, insecurity, or what-have-you... It's pointless and harmful. There is no neatly ordered line of boxes, there is no such thing as better/more/deeper in relation to dynamics outside your own, there is no pool, There is no spectrum.

Shift your paradigm to accept that and this BDSM community of ours will be a more pleasant place for everybody in it.